Yesterday I had a sore throat and it rained for hours and hours. I spent the whole time working on various side projects and playing Minecraft. As my new mining operation and tree farm are several kilometers distant from the spawn point, being eaten by spiders and walking five minutes back to the cave to get eaten again got tiresome. I needed pig meat–or better yet, delicious, even more life-sustaining bacon.

But pigs are hard to come by, and killing them is time consuming. Luckily, these delicious creatures will appear anywhere grass is present, which led to the construction of The Facility.

Ordinarily I design structures which blend with their environments, but in this case, the Facility’s brutal efficiency must be reflected by its utilitarian form. It comprises nine floors of grassy fields, perfect for pigs and assorted farm animals to spawn in. As the animals wander the floors they fall into streams which funnel them into 36-meter central chasm.

That chasm continues underground, where pigs and lava collide at high velocity. Delicious bacon byproducts are carried to a collection station a few meters away. I’m calling it the warp core, for obvious reasons.

It also does an excellent job of killing spiders, creepers, skeletons, and other nasties. Watching them hurtle down the shaft to their fiery demise is welcome turnabout.