Everything Tagged "Funny"

(In reverse chronological order)

Lesser known leader election algorithms

In distributed systems, one frequently needs a set of n nodes to come to a consensus on a particular coordinating or master node, referred to as the leader. Leader election protocols are used to establish this. Sure, you could do the Swedish or the Silverback, but there’s a whole world of consensus algorithms out there. For instance:

The Agent Smith

Wedding Invitation

Bob and Sarah are a physicist and chemist, respectively. They should have known better than to send us mad libs for an RSVP card.


The District Burns Alone Tonight

The lead singer of The Invasion Service

Smear green blood
Your palms are sweaty
Scaly skin glistening
To last demands
The planet’s going under and
You’re floating overhead

Enrique ln(glesias)

You’re so prolific
An impact factor well above thirty two
It makes me jealous
And in need of passing this peer review–

You know my motivations
In search of reputation
My erdos number ill acquire from you

Gay cards

(11:14:54 AM) Duretti Hirpa: shit, i had all the boyfriend points in your LAST relationship

Bored Snipers


If I recall correctly, this was the result of a protracted 1v1 CounterStrike match between myself and Jon Beare. Neither of us could move without exposing ourselves, so we fought by proxy.

Physics News

Researchers at KERN (the Kyle Eats Ridiculously Nook) have announced reactions of unprecedented energy. The upcoming paper is expected to place new upper bounds on the maximum mass of the T-Burgeron. Results from the TASTEBUD array and Digestive Calorimeter are said to be “off the charts.”

Quantum foam researchers are eagerly awaiting the results of the supersymmetric supersalad (S4) experiment, which is the first to explore symmetry breaking between feta cheese and fresh c-tomatoes. High activation energies in fork-lettuce interactions have long limited the experimental accessibility of the salad model, but new models of bound arugula-cucumber pairs suggest a “delicious island of stability” may lurk at larger plate sizes.

Terminator: My Secret Love

Contextual advertising just gets better and better. During the scene where the T-2000 is frozen by liquid nitrogen, breaks into pieces, and then melts back together under blast furnace heat, up pops this gem.


California Gays

Hi Mom! I know you want to know what I’m up to down here in CA. This basically sums it up!


Duretti and her nonexistent website shut me down at lunch:

Duretti Hirpa: no one should take your sartorial advice
Duretti Hirpa: gays thought you were a straighty
Duretti Hirpa: THIS WEEKEND
Duretti Hirpa: at PRIDE